Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Pastor's Wife

Pastor's wife's letter: how’s this for apocalyptic literature. This was written by a pastor's wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events. It is Brilliant.

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America, having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One".

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and Change.

Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed." And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed.

And "The One" said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!" And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And the people said, "Show us the money!" And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody"

And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?"

And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes."

And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes."

So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!"

And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed.

And He said, "I shall mandate employer-funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited health care and medicine and transportation to the clinics."

And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."

And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!"

And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates."

So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bilingual signs and guaranteed housing..."

And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "The One" - The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!"

But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..."

And the people said, "Wait a minute. That is unfair!!"

And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?"

But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon "The One" and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, “Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not. It's happening RIGHT NOW!!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009


Kids say, or feel, the damnedest truths.

Taylor fell in love with this little tune and decided to share it with me.

Now I share it with you.

Sometimes little ones, they just KNOW.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I used to think addictions were just to drugs, or to smoking, or to overeating! I was so wrong.

I have a new addiction.

It is so bad that sometimes I wake up in the morning dreaming about having it. It interferes with my thought processes at work until I get it. I even know that I can't even call my supplier before 11:00 AM! They absolutely REFUSE to answer the phone until 11:05, and they VACATION in the summer (OH THE NERVE!)!

I watch the clock!

What time do they open! I start going through DT's at EXACTLY ten! An hour too early.

I (hangs head in utter shame) am addicted to this:

YES! (weeping) Thai !

Specifically Panang Chicken........... (Weeping in sorrow at my utter fall from Steak and French Fries).............

UGH (the shame)

THAI HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, how it tantalizes the taste buds, how it livens the senses. The scent of Thai Basil and Kaffir lime mixed with fragrant coconut milk.

The pea pods...........I LONG! I DESIRE!

The tender chicken. I am DOOMED!

Looking for recipes is hopeless, everyone is different and I cannot find ONE that has ingredients I recognize or even know where to buy, or how to ask for (some, I can't even pronounce). Is it Red Curry, or yellow or green, and then HOW MUCH to get it just right?

I am doomed. For the rest of my life I will be a slave to the Thai Hut. Or the Thai House (don't care for them much, expensive and no veggies) or Pad Thai.........(NEVER open when they are supposed to be!). Then there is a new one opening up the street.......Thai CHEF!

There is my secret place, Thai Orchid, the do a LUNCH BUFFET! But..........It's delicious, not HOT!

Oh, woe is me!

The Monkey on my back (hey, are there monkeys in Thailand?)

Anyone know a 12 step for Panang Chicken rehab?